Chlorine is my perfume.

Today I went swimming with my 3 out of my 4 kids.... I found the entire experience exhausting!
I paid my $13.50 with a smile on my face, not knowing what was in store for me.
Then it all started........ WOW, it was a total nightmare. My whole vocabulary for the entire hour was oi, you, no. oi, you, no. I am sure I looked like the bad Mum of the pool.... I definitely felt like a terrible mum.
At the end of it all, getting the kids to take a shower to wash the horrible swimming pool smell away was a total disaster too, NO mummy NOOOOOOO water in my eyes.
Getting dried afterwards, now that is like torture. Shivering, dripping wet whilst you get your kids warm and dry first before yourself. Trying to spend as little time in the germ infested changing rooms. Shouting out, NO, GRACIE, DON"T SIT ON THE FLOOR, (believing the floor to be a petri dish of green bacterial monsters specifically waiting  for a 3 year old by the name of Gracie  to be their host)
And the end of this wonderfully crappy experience was me thinking that someone had stolen my bland and boring sandals. I searched high and low high and low, but no sandals. After 20 minutes of believing I would have to walk to my car barefoot,  shaking my fist to the imaginary thief of my sandals.....My friend who I was with found them, in the locker, on the top shelve..... Ahhhh yes, I remember now...... I put them there.... duh.....
Never again will I go swimming.....Until next time!!

bottle or breast which is best?

The arguments on what is best for baby can go on for days or weeks or months. I must admit, my 2 boys I bottle fed, and they thrived and are of sound mind.....?? :)
Gracie, I expressed milk and bottle fed it to her for 6 months. She did well, she thrived.
Harlow I breastfed, I am still breastfeeding, she is 8 months old now. I keep thinking I need to bottle feed her formula now, as that is what people are telling me, and what I keep telling myself... will it make her sleep through the night?? I know I sound totally stupid, I know I do, but...... could it have some truth to it?
Anyhow that is what is on my mind right now......

Chicken nuggets for the soul

Supper is a time for the family to come together as a unit. To talk about our day, to laugh to just be happy. How wonderful it is that mum has set the table with clean linen, with knives and forks. To sit down with lovely tasty food that our mother has made specially for us. How lucky we are....
Yeah.....right....Not at this house.  Take a right out of this house, then a left and another right, to the delorean time machine and set it to 1950.......

Suppertime here is different, it's like a horror movie.

SO........................

Tonight, I am trying a different approach for supper. Feeding Sean and Gracie what  know they'll eat, a plate of chicken nuggets, grapes cucumber carrots and an orange..... A bit of a mixture.......But, I couldn't handle the suppertimes as they were..... Stress, the kids complaining, whinging and just not eating.
All I can hear now, is...well, nothing.... It's great. So when my husband gets home, maybe we'll get to eat supper in peace....maybe??!
I am actually contemplating making a 'tapas' type super supper most nights.... See how it pans out!!

Eating dinner in peace.

Last night, was the 1st time in a long time, that me and my husband have eaten dinner by ourselves.
It was our anniversary, thus, a present to ourselves.
Sat, just the two of us, the background noise of knifes and forks, people chatting, waitresses tottering to and fro with their curiously short skirts...We were making a decision on what to have for the starter, was so relaxing, it was fabulous!

I had a glass of wine, while we occasionally talked about funny things that had happened that week. It's a crazy busy household we have, we sometimes forget to realize how great we have it!
When dinner arrived, we ate it without any interruption, such a relaxing evening.....Well.... I mean a lovely 2 hours.
After the meal we went to collect our wonderful amazing, crazy, noisy kiddies from my friend, who was gracious enough to watch them for us.

Such a great 2 hour break from our crazy household!!

Goodnight Nicholas, Goodnight Sean, Goodnight Gracie, Goodawake Harlow....

After having 3 kids that slept really well from a young age, Along comes kiddie number 4, Little Harlow . Bright of the eyes and spirit, A quick and nimble crawler.....Happy and contented most of the time......
Likes to try out her newly sprouted teeth on various chew toys, cell phones and her mum's boobie.
Overall a cute girl.

Although I think she's one of 'those' kids....Yeah, a non sleeper...
In the past, I used to look down on mums of non sleepers, "It' the parents fault"!! I'd say.
We've all thought, nah, I won't be one of those parents who ends up with a non sleeper. Here I am though, little Harlow, she won't nap or sleep well for me. If she does nap it's a maximum of 40 minutes once a day.
So what should I do....
(1) Accept the fact, and move on......

(2) Start drinking MORE coffee                                    
(3) Start drinking MORE wine.
(4) Accept the fact, and move on......
or
(5) Accept the fact and move on.......

Well I am out of ideas.... Just hope it's a phase that's she going through.
I am sure when I am old and decrepit in the nursing home I will look back at my sleepless little Harlow with a smile on my wrinkled face. As I sit in my floral rocking chair, overlooking the other nursing home patients, hoping that one of my kids comes and visits me, sometime soon...... Otherwise the will is being re written, and all my Justin Bieber records are going to charity instead!!

Happy Anniversary.........

Many years ago, Maggie lived in a little town by the name of Little Hulton. Sounds like a cute quaint name for a town doesn't it? Well don't be fooled.
In that small town, lived a girl by the name of Maggie.  Maggie was a simple girl, simple of the mind and soul....... Liked to party with her friends and have a few drinks, a few or a lot, mainly a lot of drinks though!

One cold night in February 1996, Maggie decided that she wanted to cut some rug inside the indie club called 42nd Street. This club was a small dungeon type of idea with the stench of stale beer in the air,  ah, memories..........melt my heart.

There, across the dance floor was a man by the name of Richard. He was very drunk, very drunk indeed.
He stumbled across the floor and headed towards Maggie. He had decided that she'd do.


They talked and talked for 5 minutes and exchanged telephone numbers.
The next day Richard called Maggie to meet him, but Maggie thought that he was probably a weirdo and declined. The week after they met up, with much hesitance from Maggie, as she thought that he was probably some lunatic that was going to boil her and make soap out of her remains. But she has decided to not listen to her inner voice and just go and meet him.

They got on ok, so decided to continue seeing each other........
2 years later...............................
Maggie was knocked up with little Nicholas, so a house was bought and they lived in this house happily. 6 years passed and another little one by the name of Sean came along, chubby as chubb can be.
After trying before she bought, Maggie decided that it was time to get married, and so they did.

 a year passed and they decided to live in Canada.
In 2008 little Gracie came along and then came Harlow in 2011. All in all, a good time had by all.

Happy Anniversary Mr Keefe.

Do they hang low, do they waddle to and fro?

There comes a time in every woman's life, that the above will be a reality.
Ever since nursing Harlow I have noticed a change in my Betty Boops. See,...... she refuses now to nurse from the right side, so I have my left mondo 2 sizes bigger than the right.
I have tried to embrace my freakishly large bussom or my teeny tiny bussom, but just can't bare to look at them. I think better outta sight out of mind.

So, I better be saving for either a boob job, or a really fantastic bra, or boobie covers as Sean calls them.  It's funny as Gracie points to my boobs on a daily basis with "those are Harlow's"!!!

Fine line between love and cake.

I love a good cake, who doesn't?
Chocolate, vanilla, marble they're all good.
Although I am at the stage where I need to watch what I eat, I'm in my 30's and still have 14lbs of baby weight to lose. I could have lost the remainder of this weight if I would have put my mind to it, but food is too delicious and exercise is too much hard work.

But, I have to make a commitment to myself to get back in shape an lose this damn 14lbs, I hate being this weight.
Maggie will be skinny, Maggie WILL be skinny!

About me................

(1) I am from the 'hood' Little Hulton in Manchester

(2) I like extra spicy food

(3) I don't have a middle name.

(4) Horses scare the crap out of me

(5) I am double jointed








(6) I can't drink wine from anything but a wine glass.
(7) I have dyed my hair since I was 15.
(8) I was unpopular at School.
(9) I have a weak stomach, for poop, blood, open sores, anything along the lines of this.


(10) Ice cream makes me ill. (I still eat it though)







(11) I tried to become vegetarian once, it lasted half a day. :(

(12) I am bad with money.
(13) I day dream way too often.   It is both a blessing and a curse that I can totally zone out on you during a very intense (or boring) conversation.   I can usually cover this.  But sometimes I can’t.
(14) I wipe my hands after eating chips on my clothes.
(15) Cake is my favourite food group.
(16) I enjoy different types of people and their quirky ways.
(17) I got fired from my 1st job in telesales because I sucked BIG time.
(18) I got fired from my 2nd job in an office because I opened a love letter written by my colleague  addressed to my boss.

(19) I can't follow recipes to save my life....
(20) I get satisfaction from picking dried nose cookies from Harlow's nose.

Supper time struggles and other tales...........

Every night without fail, supper time struggles begin.  Non of the kids want to eat. Why must this time of night be so stressful?
"When I was younger", I'll tell them, "I used to eat all my supper. I was a good girl".
Of course, I'm totally lying, I would be just as bad, even worse. I'd put food I didn't want to eat in my pockets, so I could hurry up and play out with my friends.

Sean tells me when he eats my cooking it makes him have a greasy poo.

 Kids tell you what they think, and they don't care. But's it's all good. The very small amount of times I get zero complaints from any kids during mealtime, means I have done a bang up job of supper. This normally
happens when we get take out!!!
 

Kids eh?  Life would be boring without them!

Crazy little thing called......SLEEP DEPRIVATION

There was once a point in my life I could go to bed when I wanted and wake up when I felt like it. Yes, the many years ago I was free and single... I do sometimes miss these times, if I am to be perfectly honest. Now I am on a strict schedule, it called the Harlow non-schedule routine. Every now and then she'll lull me into a false sense of security by sleeping really well one night, then maybe do the same the next night. Then Bam, the 3rd night she decide she'll need feeding 3 times and then require an hour of playtime, then she'll need 2 diaper changes and maybe need to puke on my bed, all whilst smiling sweetly the whole time,
The pure joys of parenthood...You can't buy this stuff, if you could, it'd cost you a fortune.
If I feel like a zombie the next morning, which most of the time I do, I'll make myself a few coffees to get myself going. Did I mention I have 3 different coffee machines....YES, I am really that coffee dependant.



Last night was particularly bad, Harlow was up 4 times, but nothing that a coffee can't fix.... plus, I couldn't have felt that bad, as I was clearing out my kitchen pantry at 9am this morning.  The kitchen pantry eh? Wow trying to keep that organized is something else.  The amount of times something has fallen off the shelves onto my head or foot, the times I have use profanities at this stupid $#@$%^& pantry..... Damn pantry. I'll show you.

Is Carrie from SATC my alter ego?

Sat tapping away at my laptop, writing on my blog,  thought to myself, wow, it's kind of like I am a Carrie of the normal world.....  I mean look at the evidence...



(1) I use a laptop HEELLLLOOOO! This is undeniably perfect evidence.
(2) I wear clothes, sometimes nice clean ones. Couture in style because of many of the one off designs created by my children, chocolate hand prints, baby puke, my favourite is the baby poop. it's all good as it adds to the character of the outfit.
(3) I eat at fancy restaurants, I frequently visit subway. You get sandwiches with SALAD comes complete in a plastic bag and fancy paper napkin.
(4) I am a lover of fancy shoes, the shoes we all have but unable to wear because they're so uncomfortable, so they sit in the bottom of your wardrobe collecting dust.
(5) I have a love hate relationship with Mr Big, yes that's it, the chocolate bar, I can't stand this particular chocolate bar, unless,........ there's nothing else and I'm completely desperate.
(6) I drink nice fancy alcoholic beverages.... yes, every now and then I like a nice glass of a $5.99 a bottle special. I can really feel my insides burn as I sip it.
(7) I go shopping frequently too, Walmart and Shoppers Drug Mart are my go to shops, you never know what amazing bargains on soap and toothpaste you'll get.... Name brand soap and toothpaste I might add!

Yeah............actually, my life bares absolutely no resemblance to Carrie.... I can dream can't I??

Anyhow off to make myself a delicious helping of cold chicken nuggets from Gracie's left over lunch for my lunch. Hope you have a good afternoon too!

Verdict of 1st day of School?

I asked Sean what he thought of school.....

"Crap"! he said. (not sure where he learned that sort of language) 

And that folks, is what Sean made of his 1st day back.

1st day back at school......

This morning was cold and damp, as I looked out of the window, seemed like fall was willing it's sweet little self closer and closer. Before we know it, they'll be lots of  cold white stuff all over the place...Yeah, that's it....SNOW......OOO......

I practically had to use a spatula to scrape Sean my 7 year old out of bed... He has not seen this side of the morning for months. What time I hear you asking..? 630am.. Why so early? Well the school he attends have changed the start time of school, it's now 8am.
Reluctantly he got dressed and had a mouse sized breakfast as he normally eats. He brushed his teeth with the vigor of a old aged sloth.
We walked to school this morning as I thought it would be a great idea... 'great' ideas eh? especially mine make me wonder, if my 'great' ideas are really that 'great'?? ....anyhow, got Sean to school safe and sound and will be waiting to see how his 1st day of grade 2 was, with his brand new teacher.

As for Nicholas, he got out of bed had a shower and ate breakfast like an old pro!! I am sure he will secretly enjoy his 1st day of school. When I ask him how it went, he'll probably utter, "it was alright"!